Simple question, complex answer.
Wanting a quick fix in today’s urgency culture, in addition to wanting to avoid our own discomforting emotions and situations is common and completely normal.
We all experience life. In a world where social media is increasingly prominent it is sometimes difficult to discern what is real and what isn’t. Let’s be really clear about this – no one is devoid of suffering. It’s part of the human condition. Equally true – no one is devoid of a loving nature. It’s also part of the human condition.
If this is speaking to you in any way, shape or form…keep reading. If you don’t want to read another one of Karla’s rambling blogs…stop here. The choice is yours but that won’t stop me from writing…
As I continue on my own journey as a human with all sorts of roles and responsibilities, and baggage there are a few things that I have learned as I reflect back.
It can take time, but it can be done. Several years ago, I remember feeling defeated and telling a co-worker, that there was no point in continuing therapy. I had learned all I needed to know and I was done. (What I was really feeling was stuck). My amazing co-worker (who was also working on her own healing) gently asked me “isn’t healing a life-long process?” Fair point. Obvious, yet when we are stuck in our own crap sometimes it’s hard to see out of it. And back to my first point of wanting a quick fix. It has literally taken me years to move past something that I thought was blueprinted.
Sometimes forwards, sometimes backwards but all in all moving forwards. We all make mistakes. Sometimes it takes a lot of mistakes. Keep going.
Therapy or counselling of some sort is helpful. (Even for those who have a background in it). As conscious of our biases and triggers that we think we are, having an objective source can be so valuable! Even now, I still have “a-ha” moments with my therapist.
Make sure it’s the right fit. Earlier on in my journey I had seen a counsellor for the 1st time and she told me I would never be able to go back to school; that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I was pissed at the time and she was wrong. Instead of knowing that she wasn’t an “expert” I felt bad about myself and this isn’t helpful in the healing process.
Don’t let any counsellor or therapist tell you they are an “expert”…especially in regard to your life. If they do, move on. Peace out homie.
Find a counsellor/therapist/helper that has done some of their own inner work and are open enough to share it. You don’t need to know the specifics of their journey but for me, it has helped immensely with relatability and connection. If they give you a common line about maintaining professional boundaries, appreciate that but also know that if they can’t acknowledge they have their own dirty laundry, you might want to re-think where you are spending hundreds of dollars for YOUR healing. Just saying.
I initially planned on only writing one post about this but it’s not getting finished tonight.
A part of my healing is also…sleep. More to come….